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arhoffman
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Interests: You will be amazed at how we exploit them for your entertainment! is a blog dedicated to the daily shit I put up with, and random things that irritate me.
Expertise: Warning: This product may contain substances that cause laughter, anger, and lung cancer.
Message: message me
Member Since:
4/6/2006
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| So, I'll adjust my previous statement for everyone that gives two hairs on a rat about this goofy blog.
Turns out, there are NO tents. I'm just living in a shithole for a week. (Founders)
This is kind of a new experience for me, since I lived in a closet last year. But, in hindsight, my bed didn't creak like crazy when I got out of or into it. That's going to get super annoying, super quick. Yeah.
I skipped the booze so that I could get to bed at a decent hour. Turns out, I have been informed, that we have a couch in the room we'll be moving into next week. Sweeeet.
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| School has done all the students living in upperclassmen dorms a great
service this year. Over the summer, they're rebuilding three of the
upperclass dormitories, turning normal college doubles into condo style
housing. That's very nice. I like a private bathroom, I like my own
living space, and I like the idea of having a collective living room.
That's all well and good.
What I don't like, is the possibility of living in an unfinished room for the first quarter of school. Or worse... a tent.
That's right, a tent. Spacious living conditions (kinda), Wi-Fi
internet (if you're lucky) and a natural Air Conditioner (guaranteed
cool temperature not included)! And, knowing ONU, if there are tents,
we'll still be paying the insane amount for room and board, just like
usual.
I mean, honestly, I like to camp. Maybe it's the Eagle Scout in me, but
camping has always been a way for me to just tune out my problems,
stresses and worries, and just tune back into the world, and get back
to the way things once were. For me, it's relaxing to go collecting
firewood, cook over an open fire, and spend the rest of the day hiking,
fishing, and maybe playing some cards with whoever I'm camping with.
But this isn't the woods, it's not some park, this isn't a campgrounds,
and this isn't camping. It's college life. It's a completely different
animal.
If this crazy tent thing truly is the case, (and I hope not), someone
is going to get a very pissy letter. I mean, it'll be a letter that's
so rabidly bitchy, it'll break the word processor I'm using to write it.
Because camping on campus? No, that's not how we talk to grandma.
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It's been a while since my
last anger filled rant, but I've got plenty of material this time around, so
sit down and make sure your hair is firmly attached to your skull. You might
loose it in what is about to be, in the words of S. LuCore, "a rabid
bitchfest."
First on my list: the Health
Center.
I get it. I really do. It seems, ladies and gentlemen, that the cure for every
disease known to man, every woe and ill ever conceived, every cough and
sniffle, every swollen ankle, every broken hand, can be fixed by two drugs, and
two drugs only; 800mg Ibuprofen, and Amoxicillin. I must be shit out of luck if
that is the case, because I'm allergic to cephilosporin (the active antibiotic
in Amoxicillan). But I digress.
About a few weeks ago, I did what the normal populace on campus would call "a
stupid." While trying to take my left contact out, I jabbed myself in the
eye with my finger. Please, don't everyone clap at once, I know I'm that
amazing.
Going into the Health Center, which is now officially, in my estimation,
the "Death Center", they had a different view
on my "stupid." When I explained that I had stabbed myself in the eye
trying to take out my contact, they nodded and smiled. All I wanted was them to
check to make sure my cornea wasn't scratched, because it was still red, as stabbing
is prone to do. So, they put a yellow dye in my eye, and told me to look
at a blue light. After the Nurse Practitioner had made sure I hadn't cut up my
eye, she swabbed out my eye, and said, (I'm paraphrasing here) "If you
have yellow excretions from your eye, you could have pink eye, which is
normally a bacterial infection." So, she shows me the tissue she had
swabbed my eye out with... strangely enough, it was yellow!
Now, in my mind, this is where you could make a silly joke and then let me go.
I wasn't disappointed. She looks at the tissue and says, "Well, it looks
like you've got some secretion here, we're going to give you an antibiotic
eyedrop." This is where I expect her to laugh and send me away; I was
mistaken. She starts writing out the script for eyedrops, and then makes me go
to the pharmacy for antibiotics.
What the hell?! I told you that I stabbed myself in the eye. I didn't take a
dump on my hands and then wipe my eyes with them!
I figure that they'll just give anyone antibiotics if they're sick. I mean,
hell, forget the fact that bugs are getting stronger because doctors have been
throwing Penicillin at any kid with a cold for the past 60 years, forget that a
cold is a viral infection, so antibiotics don't even do anything for them,
forget even that whatever you got is probably something your body can take care
of by itself! IF you walk into that place, they WILL throw antibiotics at you.
Period.
That's all for now kids, as it's finals week and I've got places to be, studying to do, and seppuku to commit.
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| - Attractive TodayI've come to the conclusion that Clean Access Agent is kind of
like having a dog shit on your favorite coat. There's just nothing good
about dog shit, and now it's on your coat... and it's a nice coat! Now
you have to go get it dry cleaned and God knows that stink is going to
linger forever...
That's sort of what connecting to the internet is like on campus.
I mean, everyone likes the internet. It's a place for you to share and
spread ideas, look at sports scores, play games, and do the whole porn
thing. The problem with the internet, at least here on campus is that
you have to connect to it. Enter Clean Access Agent stage right.
Apparently, the University has decided that, because the internet isn't
safe, they'll go ahead and protect the computers of all the people on
campus. You'd think that this would mean that they would set up a
blanket firewall that wouldn't let anything gross like virsuses and
spyware through. NOT SO! The tech department, in their infinite wisdom,
decided it would be better to make every computer download programs
that will let them access the internet. So, just to access the internet
at school, I have to have a running version of Clean Acess Agent, the
most updated Windows XP version, Symantec AntiVirus Corporate Edition,
and some random Spyware Blaster.
Why should I have to install all this crap onto my computer to begin
with? It doesn't do anything other than clog up space that I'd rather
be using for computer games and music.
Speaking of the most updated Windows XP version, Clean Access decided
this week that it wouldn't let me log into the internet until I got the
3rd update for the 2nd Service Pack for Windows XP. While some people
think that it's great that Microsoft is working to fix the problems
with their OS, let me tell you something: I think it sucks. Microsoft
isn't focused on customer service in any way shape or form. By making a
3rd update to the OS, they basically say to me, as a customer, "We
don't really care about you. We didn't really test this software. We
just put it out, and you know you have to buy it because there isn't
any other OS software that will let you do the things you want on a
PC." It's complete and utter bullshit. The last patch was 100 megabits.
That's not saying much for us here at college with the super fast
internet we have, but what about people still on dialup? 100 megabits
is equal to about 12 or 13 hours of internet time! Why should they be
subjugated to that kind of treatment when the patches they shouldn't
have to download in the first place cost them even more money from
prolonged dialup time, plus loss of phone service? But, I digress.
I'll tell you the solution to making sure that everyone is safe on the
internet... have everyone on campus use Mozilla Firefox. It's safe, a
better program than IE, and I wouldn't have to deal with all the shit
that goes along with getting some internet access in this broom closet!
Yes, my room in NoHo might as well be a broom closet. But at least I have internet!
Maybe?
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| - Goodbye, GoodnightSo, I come back to this pathetic excuse for a rant site, and I see that
my website front has changed. I'm kind of confused, but all is made
clear when I see that Xanga has given me a "free trial subscription" to
Xanga Premium! Gag. Perhaps my first article's angry rant didn't go
through, but I don't like Xanga! Why would I pay to do silly
things with a blog? It seems that in their attempt to make me a paying
customer, they've given me (for 21 days only!) a subscription. So, for
20 more days, you get to see the new skin I applied to my blog. Nifty,
eh?
I woke up at 6:00 this morning. At 6:35, I began a God-forsaken
biquarterly exodus across campus to the dreaded science/biology
building. If you hadn't guessed it already, I had an exam that started
at 6:50 in the morning. Let me repeat that for you.
6:50 in the morning! Who does that!? It sounds like something a prisoner would sue the state for. It's borderline cruel and unusual punishment!
Many discussions on the subject with a dear friend of mine have lead to
one undeniable realization: the Biology department has a fetish for
making everyone do everything at the same time and in the same place.
Yes, somehow they get sick sexual pleasure from making sure that every
person in Anatomy and Histology this quarter has class in the same
room, with the same sticky wooden tables, and has lab in the same
labratory, with the same equipment and the same creepy dead cats.
I don't think I want to know why those tables are sticky.
I can see no reason for the department to make the exam at 6:50 in the
AM, other than some strange prejudice against their students, and the
students of the Pharmacy department. If you wanted your kids to take an
exam at the same time, why not take it at 7 at night like the Chem
department? There isn't anyone using the science annex or any other
large classrooms at that time; they just say there are to make students
believe that we should tolerate waking up at 6:00 to take a test. The
best part of that is, it's almost impossible to think that early in the
morning! Oh, and we're not being allowed extra lab time, which means we
aren't allowed to study our cats (mine is affectionately named
Donatello) for the lab quizzes. In the end, it means one thing: The
Biology dept. wants me, and every other Pharmacy student, to fail.
I think the department collectively has a sacrum shoved up their rectum.
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